Introduction to the Course: Wrap-Up

The Problem List

Reading Assignment

For this lesson, read pages 1 through 21 in Facing the Shadow. If you have already read them, please review the material. There are two exercises in Lesson 2 -- read the instructions carefully and complete them.

Taking a Hard Look

As you work through the Problem List, think back over your entire history of acting out sexually. Problems long forgotten may be recalled, and those count too, along with current problems. It is quite common for individuals to be surprised at the number of problems in their life after completing this exercise.

Have you missed opportunities to advance in areas of your life? What about poor job performance, or on-the-job problems due to watching porn at work? This could apply to school as well. Have you lost friends, offended others, or been embarrassed by others finding out about your behaviors? What about your family -- who knows about your sexual behavior, and how do they feel about what you shared with them or what they discovered? Think broadly about where problems may have emerged. Sometimes we fail to see the connection between our sexual behavior and problems in life.

What About Trust?

How have you broken trust with those important in your life? And how have you broken trust with yourself? Acting against core values and breaking promises to stop problematic behaviors are just a couple of examples.

It may seem odd to speak of breaking trust with yourself. However, nearly 100 percent of those I have worked with around problematic sexual behavior talk about having made countless promises to themselves to stop those behaviors before they ever schedule an appointment. These broken promises erode your confidence and self-worth over time. They are just a few of the many ways problems emerge because of sex or porn addiction.

A Word About Shame

Taking a thorough look at the problems resulting from your sexual behavior can be overwhelming. I encourage you not to go down the rabbit hole of guilt and shame. By signing up for this course, you are taking a concrete step toward breaking the hold sex and porn addiction has had on your life.

One unfortunate reality of any addiction is that people get hurt. It is likely that many of the problems you listed involved other people. Addiction first has a powerful negative impact on the person with the addiction, but unfortunately, others are hurt as well. There will come a time, if you stay in the fight, when not only will you feel better about who you are, but others will celebrate the positive changes in your life as well.

The Problem List: Journal

This is tough work. Self-care is essential as you process difficult material. Consider the mini-course Self-Care and Sobriety, which is available free once you sign up for the full course. Taking care of yourself is not optional -- it is a necessary part of the recovery process.