Introduction to the Course: Wrap-Up

Introduction to the Course: Wrap-Up

🎧 Introduction to the Course: Wrap-Up

Choose Your Path

People change when they hurt enough that they have to change, when they learn enough that they want to change, and when they receive enough that they are able to change.

This initial lesson has provided you with an overview of how the course is structured and how the material will be taught. There are a lot of moving parts to Dr. Carnes' model of sexual addiction and its treatment, and we will work through them in a timely manner. As we move into the course, we will take a hard look at the problems your involvement with sex and/or porn has caused in your life, relationships, work, and other areas.

It is my hope that you are at a place where you want to see change in your life and that this course will help you achieve the goals you desire. Once you have your copy of Facing the Shadow, your notebook, and your journal, you are ready to move into the actual course material.

A path through a forest representing the journey of recovery

Goals for Lesson 2

As we move into Lesson 2, there are four goals to keep in mind. You will not see these goals stated explicitly in the workbook, but they are addressed in the exercises. I will circle back to them throughout the lesson to help you see how the material in Facing the Shadow, as well as the additional course material, will help you achieve these goals.

Denial and self-delusion are defense mechanisms that help us avoid facing painful realities or taking responsibility for our actions. They are often deeply ingrained patterns of thinking that can be difficult to recognize and overcome. It is essential to understand the multiple ways denial and self-delusion can be part of your life. And so, with that, we will move into the course material.

Goals for Lesson 2 overview graphic

The Problem List

✦ Exercise — Facing the Shadow, Exercise 1.1
Complete Exercise 1.1 in Facing the Shadow. Read the instructions carefully before beginning. This exercise asks you to take a thorough look at the problems that have emerged in your life because of your sexual behavior.

After you have completed Exercise 1.1, take some time to journal about it. Your journal entries do not have to be long -- just a few sentences can capture your thoughts and emotions. Please also pay attention to the suggestions from Dr. Carnes about journaling on page 13 of Facing the Shadow. Prompts for journaling will be provided throughout the course, and I strongly encourage you to develop the habit of journaling. It will add depth and value to your recovery, not just in this course, but in life long after you have completed it.

We live and work in a fast-paced world focused on getting things done and productivity. A course such as this is not about being productive. It is about slowing the pace down and allowing the material and the exercises to reveal aspects of your life that may be more painful than you would like to admit. You will also discover strengths and positive qualities you have that may have been overshadowed by your addictive patterns. Think depth and quality of your work, not just getting it done.

✦ Reflect — Journal Prompt
After completing Exercise 1.1, consider problems in each of these areas of life: trust issues, feeling disconnected from others, secrets and lies, neglecting responsibilities, and feeling down about yourself (shame). Journal briefly about each one.

Looking Ahead

For Lesson 2, read pages 1 through 21 in Facing the Shadow. If you have already read them, take time to review the material -- you may notice things that did not stand out the first time. There are two exercises in Lesson 2; read the instructions carefully and complete them thoughtfully. In the next lesson, we will dig into the Problem List in greater detail and explore how problems emerge from addictive patterns in ways you may not have considered.